Day 1 - Accept
- Tori Andrus
- Nov 1, 2022
- 3 min read
What have you had to accept this past year?
I turned 62 this year and am finally being forced to accept that my body might need some tweaking. Yes, that's what I am going to call hip replacement. Like any new health information, this took me by surprise. I'd say I'm high on the denial spectrum. I kept plugging through yoga as I had come to love it..even if a simple sukhasana was a struggle. Going to my beloved NIA class with it's gentle movement was becoming something I had to modify here and there. The only thing I could continue to do movement wise was my daily walk.
My partner is medically savvy shall we say. He's been a caretaker for both his aging parents, spent some time as an EMT and might know a thing or two about orthopedics. Not enough for this stubborn girlfriend. I am not an aging parent. I had already had x-rays at my GP's office a year prior and was told I have "age related deterioration" (ugh could there be a less sexy diagnosis?)
As I struggled with ordered physical therapy and no real relief, I finally made a decision to go all in and see an orthopedic doctor. New x-rays revealed zero cartilage in my left hip and necessary joint replacement
I'm pretty sure I would have been ok with this news a year earlier when I went down the general medical road but I'm feeling like my ability to accept things might take this kind of time. I'm in enough discomfort that watching YouTube surgery videos makes me tear up with gratitude that this thing is even possible! I'm so excited to get some titanium in my hip to match the titanium clip in my brain from a ruptured aneurysm some twenty years ago. A surgery I had no time to accept. It was life and death and someone made all my decisions at that time.
So..one thing I've had to accept and make peace with is using a cane when I walk. (for now!!!) I'm a girl who is comfortable with gray hair adding to the red hair (can we talk about accepting red hair and freckles as a kid?) but I am not comfortable with physical frailty. I love taking walks in my office neighborhood and the thought of doing that with a cane was more than meh. I wasn't willing to give the walking up so I just did it. And I bought an assortment of sexy walking sticks (does walking stick sound cooler than cane?)
I find that traffic is kinder to people who walk with devices. Me using a helping stick (ya!! that's what I'll call it!) is being kind to myself. I like it.
Journal Questions:
What have you been forced to accept the past year? (or longer if something comes up)
What are you working on accepting as a choice right now?
How does accepting your personal issues help and inform how you accept others?
Art activity:
Just as I was accepting that I would NEVER find the 16 page journal video I used to watch and act on back in early 2000, I cut myself some slack and just relaxed into the memory. Followed a rabbit hole of other memories and wahlah!! I found the videos.
You can buy a journal. But if you want to make one..this process is super fun and satisfying.
Medicine:
I can't wait to get back to yoga. I'll need to start slow. Wanna start slow with me? Accept your body might not do every asana the way the teacher does.
Accept that Adrienne Mishler is the most accessible virtual yoga teacher I've known of.
I'll add a playlist to my next post.
peace, love and light - Tori
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